Wisdom Angel of July

Posted: July 6, 2014 in Uncategorized

 
Wisdom arises from experience, a deep heart, and willingness to learn. Add your maturity and inner knowing to spiritually nourish each creative moment.
 

The wisdom of the inevitable is a great teacher – beginnings, endings, need to eat and sleep, the cycles of nature, our bodies as we go though life.
 
I am reminded of the beginning of the Serenity Prayer; ‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.’

 

This is the task – to know the difference.
 
But how? Sometimes what we can change is obvious and at other times it is masked with emotion. Cultivating an internal context for our journey means a close examination of our conditionings and attachments. Wisdom comes with experience and maturity, living our learning, allowing what is, and is, and is.
 
Accessing our wisdom comes though being mindfully present, doing all that we can to pay attention, using whatever we have learned, bringing the best techniques we have, the best attitude we have, the best understanding we have, and applying it right now. This evokes the deep luminous wisdom of your heart and nourishes each creative moment.
 
Every ancient culture has an inner group of wisdom keepers who preserve and maintain the traditions. These hidden teachings are within our mind streams, ready to reveal and enhance our understanding of the evolutional impulse, and give us certainty in these times of shaking the old from our collective perceptions.
 
May the Wisdom of the Ancient Ones unlock your memories and light your way home.


ASPEN, Colo.—

While interviewing Indra K. Nooyi, the CEO of PepsiC0, at the Aspen Ideas Festival Monday*, David Bradley, who owns The Atlantic, asked two questions that elicited as frank a discussion of work-life balance as I’ve seen from a U.S. CEO. Below is a lightly edited transcript. T

The second question was preceded by a brief discussion of Anne-Marie Slaughter’s “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All.”

Q. You come home one day as president of the company, just appointed, and your mom is not that impressed. Would you tell that story?

This is about 14 years ago. I was working in the office. I work very late, and we were in the middle of the Quaker Oats acquisition. And I got a call about 9:30 in the night from the existing chairman and CEO at that time. He said, Indra, we’re going to announce you as president and put you on the board of directors… I was overwhelmed, because look at my background and where I came from—to be president of an iconic American company and to be on the board of directors, I thought something special had happened to me.

So rather than stay and work until midnight which I normally would’ve done because I had so much work to do, I decided to go home and share the good news with my family. I got home about 10, got into the garage, and my mother was waiting at the top of the stairs. And I said, “Mom, I’ve got great news for you.” She said, “let the news wait. Can you go out and get some milk?” I looked in the garage and it looked like my husband was home. I said, “what time did he get home?” She said “8 o’clock.” I said, “Why didn’t you ask him to buy the milk?” “He’s tired.” Okay. We have a couple of help at home, “why didn’t you ask them to get the milk?” She said, “I forgot.” She said just get the milk. We need it for the morning. So like a dutiful daughter, I went out and got the milk and came back.

I banged it on the counter and I said, “I had great news for you. I’ve just been told that I’m going to be president on the Board of Directors. And all that you want me to do is go out and get the milk, what kind of a mom are you?” And she said to me, “let me explain something to you. You might be president of PepsiCo. You might be on the board of directors. But when you enter this house, you’re the wife, you’re the daughter, you’re the daughter-in-law, you’re the mother. You’re all of that. Nobody else can take that place. So leave that damned crown in the garage. And don’t bring it into the house. You know I’ve never seen that crown.”

Q. What’s your opinion about whether women can have it all?

I don’t think women can have it all. I just don’t think so. We pretend we have it all. We pretend we can have it all. My husband and I have been married for 34 years. And we have two daughters. And every day you have to make a decision about whether you are going to be a wife or a mother, in fact many times during the day you have to make those decisions. And you have to co-opt a lot of people to help you. We co-opted our families to help us. We plan our lives meticulously so we can be decent parents. But if you ask our daughters, I’m not sure they will say that I’ve been a good mom. I’m not sure. And I try all kinds of coping mechanisms.

I’ll tell you a story that happened when my daughter went to Catholic school. Every Wednesday morning they had class coffee with the mothers. Class coffee for a working woman—how is it going to work? How am I going to take off 9 o’clock on Wednesday mornings? So I missed most class coffees. My daughter would come home and she would list off all the mothers that were there and say, “You were not there, mom.”

The first few times I would die with guilt. But I developed coping mechanisms. I called the school and I said, “give me a list of mothers that are not there.” So when she came home in the evening she said, “You were not there, you were not there.”

And I said, “ah ha, Mrs. Redd wasn’t there, Mrs. So and So wasn’t there. So I’m not the only bad mother.”

You know, you have to cope, because you die with guilt. You just die with guilt. My observation, David, is that the biological clock and the career clock are in total conflict with each other. Total, complete conflict. When you have to have kids you have to build your career. Just as you’re rising to middle management your kids need you because they’re teenagers, they need you for the teenage years.

And that’s the time your husband becomes a teenager too, so he needs you (laughing). They need you too. What do you do? And as you grow even more, your parents need you because they’re aging. So we’re screwed. We have no… we cannot have it all. Do you know what? Coping mechanisms. Train people at work. Train your family to be your extended family. You know what? When I’m in PepsiCo I travel a lot, and when my kids were tiny, especially my second one, we had strict rules on playing Nintendo. She’d call the office, and she didn’t care if I was in China, Japan, India, wherever. She’d call the office, the receptionist would pick up the phone, “Can I speak to my mommy?” Everybody knows if somebody says, ‘Can I speak to mommy?’ It’s my daughter. So she’d say, “Yes, Tyra, what can I do for you?”

“I want to play Nintendo.”

So she has a set of questions. “Have you finished your homework?” Etc. I say this because that’s what it takes. She goes through the questions and she says, “Okay, you can play Nintendo half an hour.” Then she leaves me a message. “Tyra called at 5. This is the sequence of questions I went through. I’ve given her permission.” So it’s seamless parenting. But if you don’t do that, I’m serious, if you don’t develop mechanisms with your secretaries, with the extended office, with everybody around you, it cannot work. You know, stay at home mothering was a full time job. Being a CEO for a company is three full time jobs rolled into one. How can you do justice to all? You can’t. The person who hurts the most through this whole thing is your spouse. There’s no question about it. You know, Raj always said, you know what, your list is PepsioCo, PepsiCo, PepsiCo, our two kids, your mom, and then at the bottom of the list is me. There are two ways to look at it. (laughing) You should be happy you’re on the list. So don’t complain. (laughing) He is on the list. He is very much on the list. But you know, (laughing) sorry, David.


An Open Letter to Girls about the men who fear them.

An Open Letter To Girls About the Men Who Fear Them

Soraya ChemalyGuest blog post: Soraya Chemaly is a feminist starist and media critic. She is also an insightful and thought-provoking blogger whom I greatly respect and admire. I highly recommend following her on Twitter.

This excellent piece was originally published onThe Huffington Post.

Dear Girls,

You are powerful beyond words, because you threaten to unravel the control of corrupt men who abuse their authority.

In the United States last week there were people who wouldn’t let boys play a baseball championship final because a girl was on the opposing team. She’d already had to sit out two games because of their demands. Why? Did she, a competitive athlete and a member of her team, chose to? Was she being good and respectful when she acceded to their demands? Why were they not asked to forfeit their games? What messages were sent to her and her teammates? This is not complicated. It sent the wrong messages. Confusing messages. Incoherent messages. You need to know that she should have been allowed to play and not have had to sit out two games. These people, and others like them, all over the world, led exclusively by religious men, are scared of you and will not let you be. You worry them constantly.

More on link 

http://amazingwomenrock.com/an-open-letter-to-girls-about-the-men-who-fear-them

 

Link  —  Posted: July 2, 2014 in Uncategorized
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why friendship?

Posted: July 1, 2014 in Uncategorized
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Examine your friendships, they are often for a cause. There are several reasons for your friendships:

  • You make friendships for entertainment. Because you have a need to fill time. Need for social companionship and entertainment / pleasures can bring people together.
  • People become friends because of compassion and service. Out of compassion and pity for someone, you become friends with them.
  • People become friends merely because of long-term acquaintance.
  • Friendships are born out of sheer loneliness. You have no one and hence search for void-filling.
  • You make friendships because you have a common problem. You talk about your problems and become friends. For example, sickness, job dissatisfaction, etc.
  • People get together because they have common interests. For example, through business or a profession (doctors, architects, social workers, etc.)
  • You make friends because you have common tastes. You have similar tastes in sports, movies, entertainment, music, hobbies, etc.

Brave are those who nurture friendships for only friendship’s sake. More so, for a specific person’s sake.

You forsake yourself for such a person. Such friendships will never die nor become soured for it is born out of one’s true affinity / choice for another person. There is no motive. There is no hidden agenda. This is just born, involuntarily always. This is a blessing that comes to you. This is true friendship. This stands the test of time, boredom, fights, distances, intrusions, misunderstandings, and any number of unknown challenges that may barge in. It shines and glimmers and flourishes despite everything thrown at it.

People come back for such friendships. 

 

Let Reality be Reality

Posted: June 28, 2014 in Uncategorized
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So much of strife and sorrow wrought

So many little inner battles fought

Losing peace and inner strength

To resist life’s breadth and length

Why shy away from sunny sparkling love

Laughter, happiness from heavens above

Changes are planned ahead for you dear

Try to live light, with a Spirit free and Soul clear.

 

 

Do Life with Love.

Posted: June 26, 2014 in Uncategorized
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If you think something is your duty, there is no love in it. Sometimes you even get headaches because you feel burdened by the duty. When you do something with love, that is the best.

When you take responsibility with love, then it is not a burden to you. It becomes like a puja / worship and that is the best. If you think that doing puja itself is a duty, then there is no benefit in doing it at all. Worship has to be that meditative state that enshrines your mind and makes you be powerfully in the moment of Now. You are 100% aware and alert and alive and in love with life.

If a father thinks, ‘I have to get my daughter married somehow and get rid of my responsibilities’ then it becomes a burden. But if he thinks of her marriage with love, then the whole event is a celebration and there is joy for everybody.

So, take responsibility with love and take responsibility for the whole world.

Start with small steps. First your family, then neighbors, society, village – nobody should be sad in your village! This attitude will make your heart blossom. When the heart blossoms, there is happiness.

Divinity resides in a blossomed heart. You don’t have to go anywhere and search for the Divine.

His home will be in your heart.

 

Approaches to Life

Posted: June 20, 2014 in Uncategorized
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Posted: 18 Jun 2014 06:30 AM PDT


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A wise person is said to have four techniques, both inwardly and outwardly — Sama, Dana, Bheda and Danda. 

To deal with people and be wise, the first thing you use is Sama which means in a peaceful and understanding way. When that doesn’t work out, then you try Dana which means allowing it to happen and forgiving. 

When people don’t recognise your generosity in allowing them space, then the third principle called Bheda comes in, it means to intentionally create a gap or misunderstanding. If a person still doesn’t realise that they have made a mistake then it is time to use the stick, Danda, the final approach. 

The same four methods apply to your inner life, your Being. Sama — maintain the equanimity. Take both the good and the bad with equanimity. Dana means giving up that which disturbs you, that which cannot put you in the royal seat of equanimity. 

It means to surrender the mind which is the cause of your sorrows, problems and misery. Dana includes forgiving too. When your mind wanders around, allow it to go. Follow it and bring it back. 

Now comes Bheda- differentiate, separate the imperishable from the perishable. This very body is so hollow and empty. 

When you are watching the body, pleasant sensations arise, unpleasant sensations arise. As you watch, they all disappear. Energy is oozing out of every pore of your body. If you watch, it flows in an even manner. 

It creates balance. And you realise you are not this body or these sensations. You have been always reacting to the sensations. An emotion used to give rise to some sensation; the sensation, in turn, used to create an impression, another emotion. 

So these circles of craving and aversion with sensation and emotion, made your life, both subtle body and gross body, and that took you from life to life. 

Another thing that you can do is to disassociate yourself from the sensation. Then comes Danda — Danda means support. Determination and commitment are the Danda. Your spiritual discipline is Danda. 

Mind is like a vine (creeper), it needs a support. Listening to spiritual discourses, satsangs, practice, Guru’s presence are all the support, the Danda. 

It is Chetna and Chitta that is coming out of every pore of the body. The wick is the body and you are the glow. When you shift from the wick to the glow, your mind becomes stable.